The Fibro Follies

What is it about the word “discipline” that makes us queasy, I wonder?

This Yoga Journal article, http://”Hot Buddha, Cold Buddha”, sheds some light on the question, as well as on the curious human tendency to “forget” our resolve when it comes to exercise (or, in this case, yoga). Speaking of Patanjali’s writings on yoga, the article says of the Indian mystic and scribe’s words:

Abhyasa is usually translated as “practice,” but some have translated it as “determined effort,” or what I am choosing to call “discipline.” Unfortunately, there are few words as off-putting to most of us as “discipline.” It brings back memories of being told to sit on that piano stool for 30 minutes and practice no matter what. Or in our minds we may have connected discipline with punishment. But the kind of disciplined effort Patanjali means by abhyasa is very different from the sense of force and even violence people associate with the word “discipline.

Is discipline, as the article author suggest, something we impose on ourselves? Or can it rather be something we pull from within? And just why, do you think, is it that we don’t keep our promises to ourselves?

As fibro patients, we know we have to keep our bodies moving. We know we have to exercise in order to keep our muscles from atrophying and the pain from getting worse. But for most of us, exercise isn’t so much fun. We’re no different in this respect from the majority of the rest of the population. But we also get an added obstacle - the knowledge that if we push it too hard, too far, too fast, we will very possibly trigger a flareup. That’s enough for many of us to keep us parked on the couch and off the yoga mat (or the track, or out of the gym or the swimming pool).

So what’s the answer? I think it’s in recasting our thinking about exercise, and in fact about change itself - the very nature of changing our lives, our habits, our actions. Most of us think in terms of willpower, when it comes to making a lasting change in our lives. We think to ourselves, “If only I had more willpower. If I could just make myself behave …”

But that way of thinking about the issue contains failure, because it presumes the existence of a separate force or personality, if you will, within us - one that wants to exercise (or whatever the change is) to the exclusion of all other possibilities. If we can just shut down the personality that’s currently in charge and let the other one take over, we’d be set - or so our subconscious processes this “willpower” talk.

Instead, try thinking of a series of decisions - an endless series, to be sure, but nothing more than that. Don’t look at the decision after the next one - just look at this one, the one right in front of you. The others don’t matter- they don’t even exist yet, really. Just this one, the one staring you in the face right now. Look at that decision and ask yourself this question: “What means more to me right now - the long term good of my body, or the immediate satisfaction of sitting down and watching more TV?”

And don’t kid yourself - every single decision counts, including this one. That’s the part we all need to wrap our heads around, I think. We are really good at fooling ourselves into thinking that “just this once” won’t hurt. But as we saw Sunday night on the VMAs, every misstep counts. Make the right decision this time. Then make the next right decision, and so on. That’s all discipline is, really - a series of good decisions.